It can be difficult to handle the news that someone you had a relationship with was married. What may be even harder to reconcile with is the news that they’re having a child who could, realistically, be yours.
If the mother of a child who is possibly yours is married, there is a presumption that the child is her husband’s. That means that it is likely that he will sign paperwork at the hospital to acknowledge paternity. If you would like to make sure that the child is not yours, you do have options, but it will require you to speak with the woman about getting the child DNA tested. If she refuses, then you will need to take the case to court.
Figuring out who the biological father of a child is
This situation is one in which you may choose to be discrete initially. It may be that you were sleeping with this person before she was married or that you don’t want to upset their marriage with allegations that turn out to be false. Whatever the case may be, your initial approach may be to ask to speak with the mother of the child at a time when her spouse isn’t present. Explain your concerns and ask if you can get a DNA test privately.
If you both agree that one is needed, you can handle that test privately and get the results. If the child is not yours, there’s no harm done. If they are, then you will need to determine what steps you’d like to take next. This may include telling the husband about the child’s true parentage and asking if he wants to assume the parental rights, or it may include asking for rights to see your child yourself.
If a woman won’t agree to a DNA test and you are sure that the child is yours, it may be appropriate to go to court to ask for a genetic test to be ordered. This kind of situation is not uncommon but is complicated, so you may want to talk with someone who understands paternity law and the options you have before you move forward.
